Another Move, New Season, and Lessons To Learn

   Well I've finally moved back in with my Mom to help take care of Obaachan (Grandma). She turn 99 this March =^^= After loosing my job and not being able to find work Mom said I could move back and we would make everything work out. She's an Asian Mom and like Asian and Islander Moms they love having their babies back home with them lol.
   Not complaining or anything like that so just want to make that clear =^^= In the past several months work has been hard to find (I was signed up with a couple of temp agencies) or the work I did find I could not physically do anymore because my GWI (Gulf War Illness) has made that challenging. My claim with the Veterans Administration was rejected because they said I never showed for a medical exam that they failed to send to the correct address (even after I contacted them five times and had changed three times), my financial reserves are gone, and I had not drawn anything consistently for months (sorry again about that for those following my work). I was depressed but didn't recognize it. I had been blindsided again. 
   
   Mom has always had that can do attitude and the perspective that it's a season and you have to keep moving forward. She's always been like that. It's what got us through some very lean times, Dad's submarine deployments during the Cold War, and the bad times. She and my Grandmother are women I greatly respect and admire. There is a part of me that feels bad moving back in. I'm suppose to be helping her and I am able to do that in one way by helping with Grandma's daily care. What I'm referring to is taking care of your parents by helping financially when they need it, sending them on vacations, and making sure they are taken care of. Oh I should mention my parents are very mobile and not stopping anytime soon but I think about these things. I'm the eldest son and that carries with it immense responsibility. Responsibility that is challenged by my Gulf War Illness on an hourly basis. Not fun but like the Nisei use to say Shigata ga nai or It cannot be helped. 
   I've expressed my feelings of not wanting to disappoint them and of recent concerns about how I am perceived by certain family and friends who do not understand just how much of an impact GWI makes on your life. I didn't want to be seen as lazy or as someone who is taking advantage of family and friends. As much as I've talked about not letting the perception of others over run your direction in life there are times when those thoughts creep in and you need to talk to people you trust (which you should always talk about things you need help with). Well something really cool happened. Close family and friends told me that I should be more concerned about keeping my forward momentum with Lore and stop worrying about possible misconceptions about the challenges in my life. They were right and I needed that reminder to stop me from letting my mind wander into that dead end territory. 

   Life, to say the least is always shifting into new seasons and there are always lessons to be learned. Tokyo right now seems so far away and so does getting Lore off of the ground but this season is only temporary. A plus to being a Christian is we know God won't leave us in any circumstance and He'll get us through anything. It's the same as having very loyal friends who will stick by you no matter how stormy your valley is. Hope that makes sense =^^= 
   Basically this season, like any other, will conclude. There are many good things to be thankful for, like a roof over my head, Mom's cooking and baking (I know right!), and being able to help Mom and Grandma. I will find work and eventually get back into my own place again and set up the studio. Don't get me wrong I can get work done and do what I can but having your own space set up is nice =^^=

   I'll have my computer and scanner set up again in the next couple of days. I'll make up for the mecha a day I have not posted up (we're up to 3 so far). Just wanted to encourage you if you currently or in the future find yourself in a difficult season to say that they don't last forever and keep making art and being creative =^^=



Ja ne!